Before Coffee

 As I was sitting and waiting for an open table at Starbucks with a electric outlet, I sit next to my intended prey waiting for vacancy. The occupant taking my space at the time was a large black man dress in sweatpants and ragged tank top. In Los Angeles some people like to dress down, to dress ironic by wearing ragged close or clothes with pre-made holes in it, this was not this mans case. He clearly lived on the street, not obviously but it was clear to me after a few minutes of waiting on him, observing his slumped manner tattered shoes and the thing that I notice in a lot of people who live on the street here in Los Angeles, nothing, the lack of ambition in their eyes, the lack of soul. Living in Los Angeles, Downtown Los Angeles to be exact, you sort of grow desensitized from the epidemic of homelessness in our city, as you pass city block by downtown city block the chances of you not seeing a homeless person or someone begging are rivaled by lottery odds or hitting some sort of impossible bulls eye.

        You can see the defeat, the lack of care and the sorrow behind it within the eyes of these poor souls who maybe by mistake found themselves in a bad place or purely through their own device find themselves out of luck. The sorrow was deep in this guy as he sat there, looking at his phone then looking around, looking at his phone then looking at me, that when I see it, the sorrow, the lack of fucks to give. I had not got my laptop out of my bag properly yet when he starts to get up, it looks like he is leaving he is facing me as he stretches to his feet, immediately I notice that unfortunately for both of us that he has no underwear on and his shirt or pants are doing nothing to help him with this horrifying dilemma. I do not want to look, as a matter of fact I can not look away to not look at this mans' bare ass, its unusual for one, for me. outside of porn to see a mans; bare ass and not only that, that was the draw in, I could not stop looking because of the grossest of grossest scabs on this guys left ass cheek. If I am doing anything I am underestimating how nasty it was, something that one of your friends would send you to gross you out level gross.

        I sat frozen in complete discuss and insignificant horror as he paraded this scab in front of me like a protestor on picket line for better wages, I can not get the stunned look off my face even for politeness sake, the thought of his scabby bare ass on that seat made me want to fucking puke my guts out. He did not leave but he did get up and go outside leaving his phone charging and his hoodie on the back seat of the chair I wanted to sit in, use to want to sit in. I move outside, the coffee shop is on a street corner so the outside is divided by the entrance of the coffee shop. As  I pack up my stuff and begin to move, there is a young man sitting close to the order area, he must be waiting for a electrical outlet like me because he is just sitting there, he did not order coffee, he did not even pull his phone out, oh well, not my business and the only reason this is noticeable is because of what he does next.

 

 

            I reach the door to the patio area of the other side of the coffee chop and sit down and begin to  administrate my website and dig for weird, silly and strange news stories to post. IT is an on going thing this administrating but sometimes I like to go to my near by coffee shop and sit and people watch for a little while before return to my apartment and continuing to administrate and dig for stories, write music, think and create. Just I I start typing the description for the latest podcast, the kid from inside the store whips the door open and as though he had my attention says something to me, it is sharp and at first I could not make out what he was saying he said it fast and caught me off guard, I did not even know if he was talking to me. He said something along the lines of , " I took that shit!" , " I took that shit?" I thought, I second guessing my self start checking to make sure I had all my stuff I came to the coffee shop with, phone , check, computer, duh, wallet, never left my pocket. after reassuring myself that I would not have to chase this kid down because he whodini'd my wares away I shrug it off and go back to my administration. A coffee shop employee rushes outside a few minutes later and peers down the direction the kid went, the look on his face was one of confused absurdity and a little humor. I ask him, assuming that the reason he is peering down the street was the kid, what did the kid do, the coffee shop employee answered, " he took the tip jar!" At that very moment he got called back to his post and I shook my head with slight chuckle and returned to administrating.

Insomnia hole

I'm sitting in bed, what time is it ? I do not know, I do not want to look either, too tired, too something else, too, sick? I squirm all night, I suffer from insomnia and when I wake up like this I squirm, I get comfortable, then uncomfortable, I start to fade into slumber and then thoughts. This night is different though, it is not the same insomnia I usually have, the kind where I stir and my mind races and instead of fighting it, getting upset and wondering, what the fuck is wrong with me? I am tired, why can't I sleep, now I revel in it, accept it , squirms and all. I feel my stomach gurgles tremble in protest of, whatever I did earlier, drinking, I remember drinking and listening to an audiobook, a literal past time, no big deal I thought, I always drink, I always listen to audiobooks.

 

                           "BURPPPPP" my stomach debated, I feel relieved somewhat but I feel a tightness in my stomach, I know this burp is the first of a series of gastro intestinal discomfort symphony my body wanted to conduct. I finally muster up enough energy from being conscious to look at my phone lying next to me, it's 3:45 am, do I want to get up ? stretch? no, other than the stomach issues my head feels gross, like I drank too much last night but, it didn't feel gross right away, it was minutes later. stomach gurgles again, more flatulent air expels from my mouth as I try to manage the discomfort by undulating my mid section and  gulping a little then sighing, the sighing more from the frustration than anything. Then I start remembering or, I remember that I do not remember going to sleep, I am trying to chill out on my drinking so I immediately feel bad about this discovery, I try to think harder about what happened, I am not fully clothed, I think to myself so I must have undressed before bed. I drank a lot, I remember, I started at two in the afternoon, and drank myself to sleep, apparently.

 

 

                   The feeling of guilt, basic gluttonous guilt rushes like blood to my extremities over me, disappointed in my lack of willpower to stop drinking before I pass out, then I think well at least I am home and in bed, i was not out making a full of myself or burning some bridge present pre or post tense in my life. I was contained in the safety of my own private wasteland at the time, my audiobook, my drink, and me, my mind dancing with poison and ideas while being told a award winning story, this is what relaxing should be. At which point that I over did It I do not know, I remember that the alcohol was delicious, flowing and light on me, sometimes alcohol makes you feel heavy and exhausted but, not this time at least, I felt good which explains the amount of drinking, plus I was constantly moving, motivating my metabolism to process the alcohol more efficiently than it would if I was lounging around. I also remember that the last time I ate was maybe around the time I started drinking, two sausages and two hot dog buns, that it. I needlessly panic about that fact that I have not eaten because I know that the possibility for puking is higher now, at this very moment I taste that familiar taste in my mouth.

 

               I panic a little wondering if I should make way for the bathroom now or try to wait it out, the only thing worse than vomiting is waiting to vomit, more than a minute is almost intolerable, more than likely you are on all fours or lying down on the microscopic feces particle stained bathroom floor. I take the gamble, I feel like I am stronger than the urge to vomit right now, i can flex away the convulsions, i swear bro! But I can not stop burping, my stomach will not stop gurgling. I began to look for my mary jane, my pot, my weed and I do not see it, I grab my pipe and try to take a puff of what was left last night, nothing, damn. I turn my phone light on and look around for my container that holds my buds, my cannabis, my sweet lady maria, and it is nowhere to be seen and then I feel it, the next burp was no regular burp, it was bile, in my throat.

 

 

               I hop up and make my way to the bathroom, I honestly do not know if I'll make it , it was a close call but I made and immediately dropped to my knees, I convulse once then a burst of vomit and a few more, then a dry heave or two, I spit and cleaned around my mouth and left the bathroom. I realize my weed was in my car so I get dressed meagerly, leave my apartment and head down the stairs to the lobby then outside to my car. I open my car door and  there's my weed sitting in the passenger seat, I notice I feel  a lot  better than I did a few minutes ago thinking, " damn, sometimes you just need to puke, I guess" . I go back up to the apartment smoke a bowl and at this point I feel better, now I can enjoy my insomnia in the unreasonably alert peace I have grown accustomed to, however though, being sick, exhausting all that forced energy at once burnt me out, I did fall back to sleep for a few hours at 6:30 a.m. until about 8 a.m.  i'll take it.

 

Password Peace of Mind. A guide to password security.

by Vince stephen 

 

 The requirement of password security in the modern technological age is as necessary as shadows of an objectcast in light. One of the most frustrating things has be resetting a password, because if your like me, you have at least three email accounts and several log in required accounts or have had a job that required multiple passwords in multiple formats that had to be reset every ninety days and some ever thirty days, that frankly sometimes, are incredibly time consuming when verifying personal information and sometimes we frankly do not remember the verification information. I have thought of a few ways for me to efficiently create a password system that does not focus periods of time on resetting passwords or lord forbid, the dreaded support call. The economic value for a hackers to obtain your personal information is significant, causing most software developers to upgrade their software on a constant cyclical basis. This constant cat and mouse game may require casual password resetting, up to more significant and complex methods for updating and maintaining the passwords.

 The general rules of password protection are either really simple and self explanatory or pretty difficult to maintain for an average person , even for a tech-advanced person these methods are out dated and sometimes  go against our natural instincts. These method of using symbols and words that you do not normally use, changing the passwords frequently or using an app (that requires a password) that keeps all your passwords become unnecessarily complicated, however changing the password frequently is a great security tool, the execution is usually casually thought through. The application with all your password information in it is a bad idea because, well, it can get hacked and if it is sensitive to what phone it is on if you lose your phone ,you have lost all your passwords. Writing down words and using them as your password that you do not normally use, or have no value to you is a flawed method because of that one day you see that disconnected word and disassociate it with passwords without adding clear details.

 

    I personally have use a variation of the same password since I started using passwords, with small changes here and there non of my major accounts have ever been successfully hacked. My twitter account was recently hacked with the old original password but within seconds I change the password to a more secure password and still no issues. I worked in consumer electronics, more specifically cellphones, I  had six different log in required accounts at my job for I dealt with consumer personal information. A couple of the passwords had to be change every thirty days, required a symbol, capitol letter and numbers and could not repeat consecutive characters for previous passwords, it was crazy and a nightmare.

 

                 I relieved the stress of my password situation by creating a system, a simple kind of repetitive manual algorithm (requires a small pocket notebook dedicated strictly to passwords) that let my mind free of thinking of a password I have not used recently. By taking a word or constant in my life applying previously thought out symbols to use, I was able to use the method month after month after month at work. The method made me so conscious of my password and password security that using this system is in my everyday life is frankly, overkill. Honestly, for work, after all the thinking about how to approach this situation it took thirty minutes to create a table and shove it in my desk only to refer to as needed.

 

                I basically took the period and the dollar sign as my go to symbols when I worked, instead of using a specific thing, I took a specific thing and used its general  group distinction and the words adjacent for multiple passwords. For example, if I wanted it to be star.trek$11  and in thirty days I am required to change it I would make the password 22trek.star$ then star.trek$33, ifthe password required that you not use the same word then use the group distinction, for example star.trek$11  then 22enter.prise$ then photon.beam$33. Furthermore to protect yourself from physical hacking like, someone getting a hold of your notebook with all your passwords in it, this system requires memory, which if, we are talking complete and total peace of mind then this is more effective then writing everything down but, it is not so bad because all you only have to remember the symbols, remembering where the symbols go when you change your password without adding them directly to the password when writing it down, possibly writing them to the side so nobody knows the right order but you, to successfully use the password.

 

        If you do not need to change your passwords frequently or you only have a few like, bank or social media, things like that, taking the time to create a simple system (remember to devote a small memo pad to passwords and keep in secure place) can save you time resetting the password or calling tech support and taking that barefoot walk through that glass with someone who may assume your level of tech savvy. Proactively changing your password with no occurrence of incident I recommend every six months, this may keep you a step ahead of simple password decryption programs but it is not a guarantee. The most important thing to remember when setting passwords is if there is an issue you can resolve it confidently, by reading all the information regarding the logging in procedure and not clicking through it, by not signing up for extra security if it is not needed and by creating a system sensitive to you that can manage your passwords more efficiently.

a thing to think

A thing to think

by vince stephen

 

 

Okay I have been thinking about ways to make the discussion of race more palatable for everyone. Instead of setting up the conversations by establishing posture and debate points. Even though I think that we should be discussing matters of cultural differences and racial differences, I do not see any progression from discussion, it seems to me all of our cultural tolerance achievements are not coming from an essay that we read every other month. Our cultural tolerance and racial tolerance achievements are made from our interactions with each other, our willingness to allow people different from us to be with and around us, not being deterred by simple biological differences. I do think that most people believe that our racial manners need tending to, but I do not think most those people know how damaging racial and cultural intolerance could be.

        Lets just admit for example, we can all agree that there is, at the very least, a small amount of people from every race that, if there was a physical button they could press that annihilate every race but there own, they would press that fucking button twice a day, three times on Sunday. This is the extreme example but these people exist, in wide ranges of craziness from just not wanting to deal with other cultures and races to the before mentioned ,wanting other races and cultures wiped off the map, if not just certain particular ones. Just for the record I believe we have the capacity to thrive together, multi-cultural and all, bring on the quirks, awkward moments of being introduced to a new culture and bring on the food.

 

    However, obviously everyone does not think like me so I right silly articles that make no difference, like I wish my skin color didn't. Burn. I apologize for that, I am weak. Back to the lecture at hand though, people with intolerant thoughts do not just live in Anytown,USA and share a trailer full of races ideas. They are everywhere doing anything within any personality, basically I am saying you can not tell who harbor these feelings, a teacher? a judge? a friend?

I have racist family members, I am sure we all do, and they have jobs and bias. Maybe they do not write checks or own business or have employees, but the bas does not go away so, am I suppose to believe there are no racist in positions of power? Oh, but they leave that part of their lives at home right?, like, " work is no place for my racist thoughts".

 

    The danger in cultural and racial intolerance is in the institution and in the system, which has been beat to death. I have written before about race on this blog(too much if you ask me) and not in a celebratory way, obviously with all the issues currently in our society with cops  recent shooting non-threatening black men and recent threatening black men shooting cops. The situation is terrible and it makes it hard for those who are working to make strides to approve the relationships with police officers in their town. The are too many variables and moving parts in society to use broad strokes and say we all need to do this or we all need to do that, it is not easy. Every situation, every community and every person deserves proper attention when faced with these issues and we as a whole should not be looking at how much shame to put on someone and help that person, instead of doing what we always do and say "ah he fucked up, fuck him". I get it, you can not save everyone but we have to stop throwing people away.

 

MANIFESTATION OF FEAR

by VINCE STEPHEN

Now that our enemies have found out what time us, Americans secretly and collectively, shut or eyes for undisclosed amounts of time to celebrate, Oblivion, the namesake of our reality TV show god thanks to Presidential Nominee Hilary Clinton's email server giving out information to enemy hackers like dunking donuts gives out shitty coffee coupons to your smart phone when you drive by it.(dunkn' donuts coffee is not shitty I am sure they were having a bad day)

  So our security is compromised, what do you do ?  Well we do have a Law and Order candidate, I hope its Det. Stabler, we all no it is not, but I tell you this, you will never find a better country than this one, that I can tell you!

    

        As this systematic institutionalized racism has reach a more tangible physical form once again coming in like a wave or a cycle, or the new Wavecycle app, who's sales honestly are up are down. It is blood in the water for, for-profit fear mongering extremist and the "for absolutely no reason" overly

compassionate gang comes out, saturating the issue with this non moving molasses type of activism that total brings everything to a stand still with no resolution. Each side is pleading their case like car accident victims and we are getting their the involved parties stories, while each lean to the bias of their stances.

    We find the wound of the past reopen again and again as an opportunity not as an issue sometimes. Perpetuated by a system that cuts the fabric we wear as we protest down the street, as we protest from our social media and as we civilly disobey. It becomes ourselves we fight, every time these situation come up,I think we turn inside, look inside ourselves and ask, are we a person worth standing up for?

 

    Do these actions mark the height of our society? Does our country flourish from the blood, sweat and tears of our dark American past in the way that a warrior does with the memories of the past forever to haunt him even though victory had been accomplished. I ask how do people with extremely dark past make amends with themselves when in reality the battle is within? basically what I am saying is everybody needs to look, it is hard when some do not have any incentive what so ever to do so.

 

        We are not fighting each other physically, it is our mental manifestations of fear that propel most of us to do something that maybe perceived negative. IT consumes, contains and covers our society like a blanket being thrown over a bed. It is smothering to the point that we cant even see the light shining down us. Will it eventually shine through? Is it all a matter of just seeing somebody run to the outside of the blanket? Ill be here , standing on the outside of the blanket, waiting for you.

  

    

My dances with my stances

My dances with my stances

by vince stephen

 

So I am watching Whiskey Tango Foxtrot that stars my favorite writer and one of my overall favorite people to route for, be inspired by and just simply love, Tina Fey. I am only really like a few minutes into but, it is good so far, good set up. It did make me realize that I have not expressed a lot of my stance on the issues that are always at the top of our social interest as a country. I mean as if you would like to know that sort of thing right, well it will be short and simple.

 

        It basically goes like this, lets start with equally in living, of course I think everyone no matter there color, gender, religion and so forth should be judge on those merits, however, and let me just play devils advocate here, there are just some things we perceive would be a issue for us as human and we do it anyway don't we? If you are not a for example, a physically strong person no matter if you are a man or woman, do not apply for employment that requires it if your capacity is not adequate for the task, know yourself! Women should have the right of their own bodies, period. No woman is ever going to abort a baby for the fuck of it, so get off of it, geez. Our foreign policy seems like a dick holding contest, not sain that I do not enjoying a good dick contest, but not the instability that you want to in your nation as an image for nations that may one day take Americas place at the top of the shift.

 

        a couple more thing than Ill let you go I didn't think that this would even be this long. I did not know I had al these opinions in me.  OUR economy or people needs to know that the economic climate is shifting, again. The shift start from, well not started from but in my lifetime I have seen America grow from an industrial nation to a service and ironically the innovation nation. Now it is changing again into the technology and conservation plus service, we could never get rid of two industries, service and medical.

 

        Okay well maybe I should have a part two out this because I have not even touch the tip..... of things that I have opinions about, I am sort of impressed by myself. Before I end this though I must say that if there is not a good time to hash out where your ethic and virtue lie, this has to be, judging by this political season the best. I know my opinions are not really out of box, but hey should not be, it is basic human rights shit, that's what I am after. Look the world changes everyday, we must change with it, think of it this way, if you can, I am sort of a poet, if you stay for it , you pay for it, nah, maybe, if you witness it then the shit is lit, no, too modern, anyway if you want to wallow in yesterday, you will pay the inevitable cycle of monthly payments because you want to pay. I know it sounds negative how I put it but I do not see it as negative, though the potential is in everything to develop negativity. Potentially.

the visit

the visit by vince Stephen

 

count all the pixels,

can they be this deliberate and intricate,

illicit the visit

I feel violated my own willingness,

is killing me  it is real? Is it really me?

I sometimes show silly me but sincere that i am my own entity did you get your power back did you get the power on so you can hear about hell automatic on the autobahn your so adaptable your so incredible so forceful,

but approachable,

you do what you have to supersonic until you go orbital

your eyes are so precious your optical vortex hypnotizes and hexes

we are river of dreams even though we look at the streams as ease it beams complexity

and is an acquired through the seams scene after scene,

  the years, my god the years it takes to be,

when your out of control, its fun

PUSSIES

What if we all just had pussies, just all vaginas, men and women, both pussies

Random s guys, all the time, would be gettin caught rubbin pussies

Why isn't Steve hear today?

Oh ya didn't hear?

Him and jake got caught rubbin pussies again

Did he get in trouble ?

No, he just had to go change clothes

One more time he gets a verbal warning

It's happens so much they wrote a policy for it in employee handbooks

It happens so much you can do it once or twice on the job before you are I officially warn to stop

Hey did jake go change?

No, jake likes the wetness

Sloshes.

"is bob still on vacation?"

"no, bob starved to death, remember"

 




 

This is an old blog I wrote about the political climate and how it (has not) change. I wrote this exactly a year ago, and it still stands up today.



Presidentials


I have know idea what to make out of this campaign season. It's like they ran out of qualified people to run for president so where all like, well Hilary hasn't done it yet, let's give her a chance(unless anybody better comes along in the leading months). And her opponent expected is, Jeb fucking bush dude, are you kidding me? How is this not a big fucking game? How do they not see how the American public is become way more aware of the bullshit, I hope. That is half the problem, people think, " well it won't change, politicians are politicians" or " voting and politics is a waste of time" well I agree. 

Instead of fixing the issues that we have faced for, at least the last 30 years, we have been bingeing and purging our resources,our economy,and our own lives to the point of losing sight of humanity. Smart people with open wounds do not get in cage fights but,that's is what we do as a country, we are the desperate fighter but fuck if I know what it our championship belt equivalent,when we thrusted ourselves (our government thrusted us)into perpetual war(thrusted is not a word? huh?) .

So, we borrow money, we squad up, get help from other countries and here we go. Now, we are paying because we can not find a qualified candidate with a brain,that wants to lose their brain, their very sanity,plus privacy, to attempt to handle the magnitude of issue from just the last few decades. All the issues that plague our growth as a democratic free country, there is bipartisan bickering, red versus blue, us against them. With so much agenda infested money and private interest involved, name a reason beside they were here longer and it's formal dress only that makes it any different than organized crime, oh wait.

I am not saying we don't need government, we do, we really do. I think a non representative style of governing would not only leave a huge amount of the population displaced, it would open the door for perversions of varied types of evil that,sorry to say,having a government in place, keeps overwhelming oppression, and severe account of needless violence at bay, meaning, I would put my life on the fact that people we act the fuck out.  

Is there a way that we could keep bad people from taking advantage of people practicing civility and sustaining in a modern social society without government? Is there a way to keep everyone feed?, healthy and the population stable without government? Or a different kind of government,without infringing on our already established freedoms and privileges? Of course. 

Part of the argument is state versus federal. Some argue we should let states dictate what goes on at least with the people they represent. They, and this is in my opinion, they think that the federal government is blocking the right for states to operate the way they feel is just. 

I do not see the harm in that I guess unless, the states laws were um... Fucked up and do not serve the need of the people and when your government is not doing right by you who can you turn to? Some think that's were we are right now, nationally.

I am not even going to get into why the democrats do not like republicans and vice versa, because its gets kind of childish. But the basics is one groups does not agree with the others policies on such a grand scale that they  need to create a winning front to a section of representatives that are in theory suppose to well,represent(the people).

So... Some people want ultimately this, some want ultimately that, some want inbetween, but there's no room for you goddamn inbetweeners. The views held by rival political parties in americas referring g to the two top ones rarely coincide. One Party for guns the other not for guns, one party for women's right to choose the other not. No case by case, no special situation, that's it. Which makes no sense, yes we should raise issue if people want to abort pregnancy for frivolous reasons like "I ain't got time" and "I heard it hurts" but there are situations and circumstances that indeed call for a women to evaluate the decision to have a child or not whether her significant other agrees or does not agree. Just an issue like that should not be looked at with such neglect for the circumstances and a persons beliefs and judgement, you can not mandate someone have an abortion(at least by our modern standards) so you should not be able to tell them under any circumstance you have to have carry out a pregnancy. 

At least that's how I feel about that simple instance, huge topic and just one of the few things we as a country disagree at a high level on. Or so it may seem.

Do people really disagree on so many levels? 

Are we being represented correctly? Is it not due time to ask the people how we feel about the issues?

When pressed with that question I always feel like news organizations basic say in so many words, that we are too stupid to analyze and comprehend data correctly. Too many big numbers right? Nah? Not for everybody, but we do not communicate our issues of interest on a national level technically to the public. Or do we?

Is there a place where you can get all the you need to form a process of solution for our great but sometimes faulty nation? If so why do we not show it,know it, do it?

We have certainly  lost the meaning of government in this country and it is all about politics and the all mighty dollar, everything's for sale in America and as long as we let the media pander to our comforts and fears like a cat playing with a mouse until it breaks it's neck,it will continue on a slide.

Is the internet the answer? If we set up a census system on the net, hear me out this may sound potentially scary, set using your information like your SSN and you can vote for the issues set up on a basic,special and national level. So for example you have you have a question like are you for legalising marijuana in the county of Los Angeles in California? Of the question  would be localised ,only pertaining to the Los Angeles county voter, the difference would be is that person can change there vote anytime, once the vote got to the agreed percentage then it would change in the respected direction. I am not saying it would work and I do not want to bore you examples of internet based voting and you can elaborate in it or have a better idea, be all means. If the next president is able to build on prosperity and stop the war machine. We will get it right. Right? 

WHOS THE REAL WINNER?? NUMBERS.NUMBERS ARE THE WINNER.